Insecurity: the Fruit of Low Self-Esteem

When the word relationship comes to your mind, do you often think about your self-esteem, insecurities, your control over jealousy or the lack of it? To maintain a long lasting, fulfilled, and sustaining relationship, requires hard work. But at the inception of any relationship, it all boils down to what it is that you are on the lookout for, or what it is you are prepared to give. 

Insecurity 

However, when a relationship becomes chaotic, I promise you, insecurity is frequently the culprit. Nobody can understand your insecurity. As a matter of fact, the human nature is not simple to understand. That is the reason why no meaningful relationship will always get the job done flawlessly all of the time. It is worth noting that insecurity stems from quite a few reasons, the top reason being low self-worth or self-esteem. 

The feelings of insecurity can by no means assist you in your bid to conserve your relationship. Therefore, it is critical, in every circumstance to always concentrate on the decent stuff about you, instead of your shortcomings, and allow the positives outshine the negatives. Because you will notice that insecure individuals start looking for indicators of what is not working, instead of looking the other way. 

Because you think and believe that you are worth everything you would like to have, does not mean that the universe will send you a person who thinks the same way. That heart of yours, there is no telling who it might fall in love with. But for your sake and the sake of your sanity, do not make the mistake of accepting everyone in your life prepared to accept you, even if they are obviously not appropriate for you. 

Jealousy 

Insecurity produces jealousy. Jealousy is not easy to defeat, and demands a great quantity of patience to get over. Jealousy has ruined many excellent marriages and leads to a couple to experience agony and anxiety. 

 

In a typical relationship, jealousy can spring up at any point, but the best way to handle jealousy is to simply acknowledge that you are both attractive, you are both going to meet interesting, good-looking folks, and that the crucial issue is you have chosen to be together. 

In the case where you lose your partner, perhaps as a result of your insecurity or other reasons, jealousy is very easy to creep up on you, even when you are no longer together. There are tested and proven ways to get back your ex-, if you really want to. But if you choose to move on, then it might take a while to get over it, depending on how deep the relationship was. During this season, you must try to do regularly the things that you always love to do. 

Security By Obscurity Doesn't Work

Trying to get security through obscurity does not work. So Stop the obscurity! It only exposes your state of insecurity. Although competitiveness is a part of a healthier emotional makeup, but over-competitiveness is an indication of an issue. Among the best approaches to understand relationship insecurities is to understand the source of the issue. Being insecure is an entire bunch of hard work. Obviously, no relationship is totally trouble free, but a good deal of people have fair idea about what a fantastic relationship actually is. 

The absolute most insecure men and women will always discover a means to lay out awful and random specifics about other folks' lives at your feet when you are not prepared for it. See, the issue in your relationship should not be a spin off of the lives of others who are not a part of it. Over-competitiveness and laying blame on others outside your relationship shows a sense of insecurity. It is just not worth losing a relationship because of your own self-esteem difficulties. 

Distrust 

Another thing that insecurity causes is distrust. In any prosperous relationship, trust is an important quality needed. If you believe self-esteem issues may be negatively affecting your relationship, think about seeking for ideas and help with highly trained and knowledgeable relationship counselors. A proof of your commitment to a relationship is doing whatever it requires. 

Unloved 

Insecure people are not able to withstand change. When the slightest change comes they suspect that the commitment or level of love earlier shown to them by their partners is completely gone. 

Even the worst people among us are loved, yes someone, somewhere really loves them; and we are not able to say there are people who do not deserve to be loved, all of us deserve to be loved. If you adore a man today, then you have to realize that in the future, the individual may not be the exact same, but you have to accept that change. In this manner, somebody's brain also becomes free of previous experiences and becomes prepared to absorb and process the more recent ones. Same goes for the man. Insecure people can still feel insecure even when they are told they are loved. 

Conclusion 

Insecurities result into emotional traumas. Addressing an emotional trauma resulting from insecurities is usually more challenging than any physical pain, because it is almost like a self-inflicting wound. 

Once again, if you really want to get your ex- back, there are various tested and proven ways to do so. But whether you want to get them back or not, if insecurity is plaguing your life and relationship, think about seeking for ideas and help with highly trained and knowledgeable relationship counselors.

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You Will Never Go Astray

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”~(Psalms: 119:105)

The decisions you made yesterday, whether consciously or otherwise, have greatly influenced what you are experiencing today, also the decisions you make today will have an effect on the outcome of your tomorrow and future. In life there will be lots of decisions to make and many actions to take. Your life and future depends heavily on the decisions you make and the actions you take, whether directly or indirectly. No one can escape that.

Many factors determine our decisions in life. We make decisions based on gain, pleasure, pressure or coercion. But whether we choose to make decisions based on our feelings, on God's word or on any other reason, we must not forget that these decisions will determine our actions and in turn affect the outcome of our experiences tomorrow and ultimately our future.

The story of Samson and Delilah is a very popular one. Growing up as a Christian, in my children Sunday School class, we had a series on the notable stories of the Bible. Almost every year, we were told the story of Samson. Apart from his strength, we learned that he was arrogant and he made some pretty bad decisions.

Now Samson went down to Timnah, and saw a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines. So he went up and told his father and mother, saying, "I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife." Then his father and mother said to him, "Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?" And Samson said to his father, "Get her for me, for she pleases me well.(Judges 4:1-3)

Samson was a strong man but his decisions were not in accordance with God's (Word) command. He made wrong decisions in his life, especially in marriage relationships. He got married to the daughter of the Philistines, enemies of Israel. In which he was later betrayed. As if that was not enough, he entered into another relationship with Delilah and this was the relationship that cost him his life. He was captured, after making another wrong decision of telling Delilah the source of his strength. He was blinded and made a laughingstock. Eventually he died in his prime. Conclusion: his life was cut short because of the decisions he made based on his feelings rather than on God's Word. 

The story of Samson, just like other Bible stories, was written for us to read and learn from it, so we know to make the right decisions, based on God's Word and not our feelings. If Samson could make such bad decisions in his life, we are not exempted. We also can make similar mistakes or even ones that are more serious that his.

So before you start judging him, think about all the wrong decisions you have made and the wrong lanes you have turned into in the journey of life, and ask yourself this: Am I better than Samson? The fact is that you could be much better than him, if you will learn from his mistakes and apply the lesson learned to your life. Feelings are like spoiled children: the more you indulge them the more they will control you. You should not suppress your feelings or deny them, but you must not indulge them either. Do not let them lead you.

The Word of God is the written heart of God. You have to learn to trust in it. When you do this you will be holding unto His hand and walking side by side with Him as He leads you to your desired end. 

Let the Word of God rule your life, let it lead you. Make the Word of God your consultant, that which you can confide in to help you make every decision of your life. Let His Word be your light and make sure you walk in that light. Simply trust God's Word and not your feelings. Rather than let your feelings ruin you, let God's Word rule you. If you do this, you will never be misled, much less, go astray.

Relationship Advice for Singles