Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Insecurity: the Fruit of Low Self-Esteem

When the word relationship comes to your mind, do you often think about your self-esteem, insecurities, your control over jealousy or the lack of it? To maintain a long lasting, fulfilled, and sustaining relationship, requires hard work. But at the inception of any relationship, it all boils down to what it is that you are on the lookout for, or what it is you are prepared to give. 

Insecurity 
However, when a relationship becomes chaotic, I promise you, insecurity is frequently the culprit. Nobody can understand your insecurity. As a matter of fact, the human nature is not simple to understand. That is the reason why no meaningful relationship will always get the job done flawlessly all of the time. It is worth noting that insecurity stems from quite a few reasons, the top reason being low self-worth or self-esteem. 

The feelings of insecurity can by no means assist you in your bid to conserve your relationship. Therefore, it is critical, in every circumstance to always concentrate on the decent stuff about you, instead of your shortcomings, and allow the positives outshine the negatives. Because you will notice that insecure individuals start looking for indicators of what is not working, instead of looking the other way. 

Because you think and believe that you are worth everything you would like to have, does not mean that the universe will send you a person who thinks the same way. That heart of yours, there is no telling who it might fall in love with. But for your sake and the sake of your sanity, do not make the mistake of accepting everyone in your life prepared to accept you, even if they are obviously not appropriate for you. 

Jealousy 
Insecurity produces jealousy. Jealousy is not easy to defeat, and demands a great quantity of patience to get over. Jealousy has ruined many excellent marriages and leads to a couple to experience agony and anxiety. 
 
In a typical relationship, jealousy can spring up at any point, but the best way to handle jealousy is to simply acknowledge that you are both attractive, you are both going to meet interesting, good-looking folks, and that the crucial issue is you have chosen to be together. 

In the case where you lose your partner, perhaps as a result of your insecurity or other reasons, jealousy is very easy to creep up on you, even when you are no longer together. There are tested and proven ways to get back your ex-, if you really want to. But if you choose to move on, then it might take a while to get over it, depending on how deep the relationship was. During this season, you must try to do regularly the things that you always love to do. 

Security By Obscurity Doesn't Work
Trying to get security through obscurity does not work. So Stop the obscurity! It only exposes your state of insecurity. Although competitiveness is a part of a healthier emotional makeup, but over-competitiveness is an indication of an issue. Among the best approaches to understand relationship insecurities is to understand the source of the issue. Being insecure is an entire bunch of hard work. Obviously, no relationship is totally trouble free, but a good deal of people have fair idea about what a fantastic relationship actually is. 

The absolute most insecure men and women will always discover a means to lay out awful and random specifics about other folks' lives at your feet when you are not prepared for it. See, the issue in your relationship should not be a spin off of the lives of others who are not a part of it. Over-competitiveness and laying blame on others outside your relationship shows a sense of insecurity. It is just not worth losing a relationship because of your own self-esteem difficulties. 

Distrust 
Another thing that insecurity causes is distrust. In any prosperous relationship, trust is an important quality needed. If you believe self-esteem issues may be negatively affecting your relationship, think about seeking for ideas and help with highly trained and knowledgeable relationship counselors. A proof of your commitment to a relationship is doing whatever it requires. 

Unloved 
Insecure people are not able to withstand change. When the slightest change comes they suspect that the commitment or level of love earlier shown to them by their partners is completely gone. 

Even the worst people among us are loved, yes someone, somewhere really loves them; and we are not able to say there are people who do not deserve to be loved, all of us deserve to be loved. If you adore a man today, then you have to realize that in the future, the individual may not be the exact same, but you have to accept that change. In this manner, somebody's brain also becomes free of previous experiences and becomes prepared to absorb and process the more recent ones. Same goes for the man. Insecure people can still feel insecure even when they are told they are loved. 

Conclusion 
Insecurities result into emotional traumas. Addressing an emotional trauma resulting from insecurities is usually more challenging than any physical pain, because it is almost like a self-inflicting wound. 

Once again, if you really want to get your ex- back, there are various tested and proven ways to do so. But whether you want to get them back or not, if insecurity is plaguing your life and relationship, think about seeking for ideas and help with highly trained and knowledgeable relationship counselors.

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Friday, April 19, 2013

BE POSITIVE: You Must Speak It Out

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."~Ephesians 4:29
I am an avid facebook user. I'm very active on it. Living far away from home and family, and being alone where I am, I try as much as possible to keep in touch and facebook comes very handy. It helps me connect with family, old friends and even new ones. So whenever I'm not using my phone to make calls or texts, I use facebook to catch up with loved ones. This is the beauty of technology, the beauty of computer intelligence. It gives a great feel of outstanding experience!

Being an active facebook user, I have read some amazing posts that have blessed my heart so greatly. I have some friends on this social media whose timelines I visit each day to glean some encouraging words from their posts. If facebook timelines can track the accounts of visitors, some of these people will get lots of hits and majority of them will be from me. I am a sucker for awesome posts!




Verse 29a Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth:- In the above verse, Paul, talking about speech, says that we should be very careful with what comes out of our mouths. Words are potent! If you have nothing good to say, you may say nothing at all. Evil or corrupt communication cripples faith, it breaks hearts and kills hope. It messes up relationships and destroys lives. Therefore, unless your words have the potential to positively influence, please keep them to yourself and do not add to the mishaps bad words have caused to the lives of many. Think before you talk. Speak wisely!

Knowing what to say and the time and place to say it requires discipline. It is not one of the things that come natural to people. It cannot be inherited genetically. It requires hard work, consistency and discipline.

A question to ponder: If a friend talks to you the way you talk to yourself daily, will you still be friends with them?

Verse 29b
But that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers:- Meanwhile, if you have something good to say, you must speak it out! Do not keep it in, do not keep it to yourself, because someone probably needs to hear it. You must speak it out, let it encourage someone, please speak it out, let it revive cripple faiths; you must speak it out, let it restore dead hopes, please speak it out, let it mend broken hearts. You must speak it out, so it can destroy the effect of evil words in the lives of many. Please speak it out and let it minister grace to its hearers.

Instead of speaking evil words and destroying the lives of those around you or even your own life, why not decide today to start speaking positive words. You can never have a good day if you always have a bad attitude every morning. Likewise, your words have a great influence on your life, unless you stop speaking negative things to yourself daily, you can never live a positive life much less have a fulfilled one. Think before you talk, speak wisely.